What to do About Anxiety in Your Marriage
Anxiety in marriage is bound to happen at one point, especially in the beginning. You are sure that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with somebody, but then get anxious when you think too much about it.
You may begin to wonder if your partner feels the same way. This happened to me and I had to figure out how to handle the anxiety in my marriage. At some point things were not so good and we had to attend marriage counseling to understand the issues causing so much anxiety.
According to the information I acquired from the marriage counseling, I came to understand that my past influences shaped my psychological defenses, attachment patterns and critical inner voice. These factors played a great role in my anxiety and could sabotage my marriage because of my actions.
Some of these actions included;
- Being clingy– you tend to become desperate toward your partner. You get jealous or insecure unnecessarily and hardly enjoy participating in independent activities.
- Controlling– you may begin to be controlling whereby you seem to dominate your partner and this often breeds resentment.
- Rejection– you may begin building up a defense of rejecting because you are worried about your marriage. In extreme measures, you may become violent.
- Withholding- you are likely to withhold if you do not reject. This means that you retreat whenever you become too attached to your partner and hold back the little affections.
- Punish- response to
anxiety may be aggressive at times. You end up punishing your husband or wife
as you take out your feelings on them.
All the above actions are not healthy for your marriage because you risk losing your partner. Here at LoveRecon we have an alternative approach to marriage counseling and we believe we can help you because our techniques can shed light on things you hardly knew existed.
Tips to Handle Anxiety in Marriage
Our version of marriage counseling enables you to see anxiety in a different light. Instead of viewing it as a problem, it becomes an opportunity to learn something about you that needs rectifying. Therefore, you’re not help captive by the anxiety.
You need to view anxiety as something that needs to be recognized and understood, so that it can be powerful enough to help you. Here are the tips that may help you in your marriage.
- Anxiety is common in relationships
You are not the only one feeling anxious in your marriage as it is common. You are one with your partner in marriage and so are bound to protect your connection, especially if your partner has a weakness in communication.
- Anxiety is a sign that you care
Marriage counseling begins by letting you know that you can only worry about things that matter to you. So understand that you deeply care about your partner and anxiousness comes in when the thought of losing them comes. If your love is at risk, you feel anxious because you do not want to lose it.
- You must tune into the relationship challenges that your anxiety is signaling
When anxiety comes, slow down and acknowledge how you are feeling, and name that feeling. This process of calming down lowers the levels of your distress. Now you get to understand, is it normal protective anxiety that you feel or are you worried about something more significant?
- Separate the personal worries from the relationship
The anxiety in your marriage could be due to personals insecurities that you project towards your partner. On the other hand, it could be due to relationship stresses. Differentiating between the two is not easy, but it s a starting point in relationship counseling. If you can manage to differentiate between the two, you can prevent a lot of problems.
- Detangle your baggage
We see it all the time. People tend to carry baggage into their marriages because falling in love is not planned. So problems from previous relationships or childhood can cause issues in the current relationships. The situation gets worse when the baggage is unrecognized.
Relationship counseling can help you recognize your baggage. From there, you become aware of your buttons. Whenever they are pushed you can focus on the actual issue at hand instead of blowing things out of proportion.
Knowing your baggage helps you detangle from it and thus lower you anxiety.
- Anxiety could be from other life areas
Anxiety knows no boundaries and so if you feel anxious about one part of your life it is easy for it to transfer into your marriage. Even the good stress of working hard to achieve a goal can affect your marriage.
- Mind your attitude
Anxiety can sway to whatever side you wish. It you focus on putting in a positive attitude, anxiety becomes productive. With a negative attitude it becomes into something exaggerated. You begin to see things that do not exist.
- Acknowledge when to seek help
Whenever anxiety becomes too much of a problem, seek help from a qualified counselor. Counseling from a professional therapist helps you understand yourself, your partner and your union. Eventually, you will acquire solutions that will be of help.
- Make self-care and wellness a priority when relationship anxiety kicks in
Focusing more on yourself through self-care and wellness can help you deal with anxiety in your marriage. You can hit the gym, sleep for more hours, and reduce alcohol intake. It all works to improve the health of your mind and reduces anxiety by a high percentage.
- Recognize the anxiety motivation since it can solve the problem
Something always motivates anxiety. So you need to recognize these factors so that you can handle the problem itself. If communication is the motivating factor, you can find solutions. If betrayal of trust motivates the anxiety you need to address it. Constructive action only takes place when you identify the problem motivating anxiety.
In conclusion, marriage counseling plays a significant role in handling anxiety in marriage. You do not have to suffer while the answer is around the corner. At LoveRecon we know how to handle anxiety in a marriage and so can you.