Do you remember the feelings of love when you first got together with your spouse?

What a powerful question: how important is romance for your relationship? Remember when there was so much that you did to win their love and their affection – to create romantic experiences and ensure that they felt loved.  You may have sent them random texts like, “Do you work at Starbucks because I love you a latte!”  Or you may have brought them flowers, a bottle of their favorite wine, or tickets to hear their favorite band. Maybe you would go on romantic getaways or attend a marriage retreat. Through thoughts and actions, grand and small, you created feelings of romance and love.  To keep your love alive, you need to put forth the efforts that you did when your relationship was new. Many times, people wonder why their relationship fell apart, why it lost that spark, and why don’t their partners appreciate them anymore.

Many couples become good at running a home, raising children and handling responsibilities and in the process, lose their romantic connection.  Romantic feelings fade and with them goes the warm glow and special connection that they once experienced. Other couples are good at romance and continue to find ways to surprise, delight and make their partner feel loved and a priority.

Romance Keeps Your Relationship A Priority

Every person wants and needs to be considered important and a priority – especially to their spouse.  Romantic overtures prevent each person from feeling taken for granted and/or neglected.  Your decreased efforts in this area will lead to stagnation and even a breakdown in your relationships.   Romance needs to be a constant in your relationship. Being romantic is not much work, and savoring romantic moments will actually strengthen your bond and increase your marital satisfaction.

WHAT IS ROMANCE?

Many times it’s all about the little things and just going with your heart. Trust that your desire to create romance is enough to get things started, and give it your own spin. Don’t be intimidated by movies or romantic stories you have read.  Romance in the real world is not perfect, but it is the intent of the heart that counts. If you pay attention to what your lover enjoys, your romantic gestures will be perfect for him/her!

Romance has been defined as a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life. Romantic gestures can include:

  • Simple, inexpensive acts of affection, adoration, and love – a poem that expresses your love, an object that you purchase or find that reminds you of your spouse or your relationship, etc.
  • Activities that make you and your mate feel special – in your own private world that no one else shares
  • Any gesture that brings you closer to your significant other, and shows your love and adoration for them

There are many marriage help books or blogs that can assist you in finding ways to be romantic. But just remember, there are no rules when it comes to romance, so do whatever you think that your partner would like and appreciate. Much of romance is simple thoughtfulness.

How To Rekindle The Spark Of Romance

Unfortunately, after a few years of being in a relationship, the spark that was once there tends to die out, so how can one rekindle that spark once again? Improving your love life isn’t that difficult if you are convinced of the importance of it and willing to invest some thought and time. Here are some tips:

  • Include some bonding time in your schedule. This can include walks in during which you talk and share your thoughts and feelings, reading and discussing a book, following a sports team and watching or going to games and discussing the players, etc.
  • Plan at least one fun activity per month… or more often if possible. Make it something that you both can enjoy and mix it up between indoor activities like concerts and movies and outdoor activities like boating or motorcycle trips.
  • Cultivate a good sense of humor. Humor is what everyone one wants and what your relationship needs; couples with a good sense of humor are able to enjoy each other’s company. You’re able to enjoy comics, cheesy rom coms; you’re able to laugh at absurd things with each other.
  • Revisit the past. Go through photos that you have taken throughout your relationship, play music that reminds you of special moments shared, and emphasize your commitment to love even more deeply through the coming years.
  • Spontaneous Adventures. Be open to spur-of-the-moment, spontaneous adventures.  Some of your most romantic moments are the unplanned ones!
  • Intimate Moments. Intimate moments don’t always include sex, but when they do, put special effort into creating the right atmosphere, both physically and emotionally, so that you both will have a fulfilling experience.

Romance is important to you and your relationship.  It takes some time and some thoughtfulness to pull it off, but you can do it!  If your marriage has reached the point that your efforts alone are not enough to restore the spark of romance, consider a marriage retreat, marriage seminar or marriage coaching with your spouse.