Who you are will determine how you interact as a couple.
Are you the Giver-Equalizer-Taker …part 2
Last time we talked about how everyone has a default or modality in the way they interact in relationships. Now, we’ll finish up the conversation.
#3 Modality
– You are careful to protect your own interests.
– You would say that your spouse “loves more” in your marriage.
– You ensure that you get the credit for your effort and negotiate to win.
If these are most true of you, then you might be a
Taker.
(sit in a dyad)
Think of a time when your spouse gave more than you in the relationship. Take turns sharing about it and how it made you feel.
A: “I feel that you gave more to me and our relationship when… and it made me feel…”
B: “I feel that you gave more to me and our relationship when… and it made me feel…”
Now share which modality you believe is your default way to interact with your spouse and tell them why.
B: “I think that I am more of a… (Giver, Equalizer or Taker) because…”
A: “I think that I am more of a… (Giver, Equalizer or Taker) because…”
To conclude, share with your spouse if there are any adjustments that you would like to make to be more balanced in the way that you interact with each other. Share what you will do and then ask your spouse if they have any suggestions to help you. Spouse, be appreciative and kind and don’t overload them. Make one or two suggestions only!
B: “To be more balanced, I will make the effort to… Do you have any other suggestions to help me be more in balance?”
A: “Thank you for making the effort to… I think that’s great! Here’s something else that you might consider…”
A: “To be more balanced, I will make the effort to… Do you have any other suggestions to help me be more in balance?”
B: “Thank you for making the effort to… I think that’s great! Here’s something else that you might consider…
End with a hug, a kiss and a wish or prayer for your mate!
CHALLENGE: Do an intentional act of kindness together, for someone else – family, friend or maybe a total stranger. Give your time and energy to someone else for which you expect nothing in return except the joy of giving.
Part 2 of 2
check out this suggested scripture: Romans 12:9-10