July 27, 2022

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The Price of Cheating

Infidelity has become so culturally acceptable that there is even a reality TV show, Cheaters, that has had twenty-one seasons. The show is designed to uncover an indiscretion and air the humiliation on national television. So, the participants simultaneously discover their partner’s unfaithfulness as the public who is fascinated and entertained by this emotional fiasco.

If you have seen the effects of adultery, you know the destruction it can bring to individuals and families.   Relationships are devastated. Hopes and dreams are shattered.   So, if you are considering cheating on your spouse or partner, please consider the ramifications and price you will pay for your adultery.


What you need to know about cheating


  • You will become a liar. Not only will you bear the label of “cheater,” but you will also become a liar. You cannot cheat without lying. You might start with small, seemingly harmless lies, but you will advance to larger, more blatant lies. Cheating and lying are two sides of the same coin.


  • You will be found out. Sooner or later, your affair will be discovered, and your world will fall to pieces. “All the king’s horses and all the kings’ men” may not be able to put it together again. If you are well known in your community, it may make your local paper and the evening news. At the very least, your friends will know what you have done and may enjoy sharing the juicy story with those who haven’t heard. “If you don’t want anyone to know, don’t do it. – Chinese Proverb


  • Everyone will be disappointed.Not one person will hear this news without being disappointed. Your spouse, co-workers, God, parents, children, nieces and nephews, and yourself will all be disappointed. The disappointment you cause will be like the stench of rotten garbage that permeates the air around you and will take a long time to dissipate. You will lose some friends, even life-long ones, and there is no way to predict who will stick with you.


  • You will negate your influence. We all have the gift of influencing others and setting a good or bad example. When you are unfaithful, it not only is a terrible example to children, friends, co-workers, etc., but it casts doubt on all areas of your life.


  • No one will respect your moral judgments. How can you tell your children or others to do the right thing when you didn’t? Everything you say will be under the cloud of your past actions. You may speak the truth and give sound advice, but there may be only a few who will listen.


  • Your spouse may never trust again. Having an affair will devastate the self-esteem of the one you promised to love and protect. You will so rock their world that they may never be able to trust you or anyone else again. Your children may also never trust the stability of a relationship in their own lives.


  • Your standard of living will suffer. Depending upon what you do for a living, you might lose your job. If you and your spouse divorce, you could lose your home and accumulate high court fees. A betrayed spouse is often determined to make you suffer financially for cheating. As a result, you may never recover the standard of living that you enjoy now.


  • Rebuilding your life is slow and painful. It could take years to recover financially and emotionally. Friendships that you lost might or might not be rebuilt. Your character and self-respect will take years to restore. To let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself can take the longest of all.


  • You will increase your chances of getting an STD. Sexually transmitted diseases are widespread among cheaters. And, really, can you trust a cheater to tell you the truth?


  • The grass is notgreener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it. Unfortunately, more often than not, the grass on the side of your affair partner will turn brown in a short amount of time, and the circumstances of the affair may poison the soil forever.


A good question is, “Would I want this done to me?” It is a case of applying the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” If you decide to engage in an affair, you will eventually regret this decision. The pain is truly greater than the gain. No one says from their deathbed, “ I wish I would have had an affair!”


If you are struggling in your relationship, cheating on your spouse or significant other is not the answer. The Love Recon Experience or Recon Relationship Coaching can help. It’s what we do!

About the author 

Cliff Poe

Cliff Poe is Founder and Lead Coach for Recon Coaching. He and his wife, Jeani, are Master Coaches and their passion is to help individuals and couples form healthy, lasting and satisfying relationships. Cliff has a M.Div. in pastoral counseling and ministry. He enjoys writing and coaching as well as his family which includes 2 adult kids and their spouses, 6 grandchildren and a fur family composed of a Golden Retriever and a Mackerel Tabby.

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