Spiritual Intimacy: Connecting Through Faith

In today’s complex world, even those couples who consider a spiritual life meaningful find it difficult to connect through faith and develop a shared spiritual intimacy. In the Old Testament scriptures, this spiritual intimacy is described as a husband and wife becoming “one flesh.”   It is far more than the couple sharing their physical and emotional selves. It is the mystical union that occurs when a man and a woman spiritually connect with each other and interact with their Creator so that they become, in every way, “one.” There is a whole new dynamic that occurs when a couple can share their beliefs, values, and experiences related to their faith. In this article, we will explore the importance and benefits of spiritual intimacy in marriage. We will also look at practical ways to cultivate and maintain this vital relationship aspect.

Key Takeaways:

• Spiritual intimacy is essential for building strong and resilient marriages.
• Characteristics include mutual respect, shared beliefs and practices, and vulnerability.
• Couples who are spiritually in tune enjoy emotional support, enhanced understanding, and personal growth.
• Engaging in shared spiritual disciplines and open discussions can deepen spiritual intimacy.

What is Spiritual Intimacy, and Why is it Important to Marriage?

Spiritual intimacy is the bond when two unique individuals come together, lower the walls and share their deep-held beliefs, values and spiritual practices. This connection allows couples to explore their faith together creating a sense of unity and shared purpose. They realize that their relationship is not just about them, but that together they can make a difference in the world as a unique couple.

A spiritual bond is essential because it provides a solid foundation that will help a couple withstand the storms of life and navigate life’s challenges together. When partners are spiritually close, they are more likely to provide support and encouragement for each other.

What Are Characteristics of Spiritual Intimacy?

1.    Mutual Respect.  

Spiritual intimacy begins with a mutual respect for each other’s believes, perspectives and practices and a commitment to help each other grow.

2.    Shared Beliefs.

It is important that a couple have a common understanding of their faith, which creates a foundation for spiritual discussions. There should be room for diversity of thought and perspective, unity in the foundational beliefs of their faith, and love in all discussion and practices.

3.   Open Communication.  

Partners should feel safe and comfortable discussing their spiritual journeys, doubts, and experiences without fear of judgment.

4.   Shared Practices.  

Couples who have spiritual intimacy don’t just talk about their faith. Typically, they regularly engage in spiritual practices together. Such practices can include prayer, meditation, involvement with a home small group, and worship services.

5.   Vulnerability.

For real spiritual intimacy to develop, couples must be honest and vulnerable, sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings. Pretending or going through the motions will not enhance spiritual closeness and may, in fact, damage the bond of spiritual closeness. 

 

What Are the Benefits of Spiritual Intimacy?

1. Enhanced Understanding.

 A spiritual connection creates a deeper appreciation of your partner’s journey and enhances your understanding of who they are and what they have been through. It will also give you insights into their soul – their strengths and broken places, their dreams and aspirations.

2. Personal Growth.  

Engaging in spiritual practices encourages individual growth and development. Couples can challenge each other in healthy ways that spur one another to modify not only thinking but adopting healthy behaviors as well. 

3. Stronger Commitment.  

Spiritual intimacy can strengthen marital commitment, as couples are aligned in their values and purpose. Prayer is an intimate spiritual practice that can tether a couple’s hearts to one another. Surprising to many people, a 1997 Gallup poll found that the divorce rate among couples who pray together regularly is only 1 out of 1,152. Although the poll is a bit dated, it nonetheless shows the power of prayer and is reminiscent of the saying, “The family that prays together stays together.”  

4. Conflict Resolution.

Couples with high spiritual intimacy may find it easier to resolve conflicts. Spirituality reinforces the value and worth of every person and how they should be treated, verbally and otherwise. Genuine humility and forgiveness are spiritual attributes that are integral to resolving conflict and repairing the damage that it can cause. 

What Are Some Ways to Grow Closer and Maintain Spiritual Intimacy?

Besides participating in spiritual practices, attending worship services, and having spiritual discussions, here are some spiritual disciplines in which to grow in spiritual intimacy and marital satisfaction.

1. Read and reflect.  

Explore spiritual literature together. Find books that will expand your thinking and understanding, not just those that affirm what you already believe. Discuss with your partner what affirmed your beliefs and what challenged them. 

2. Volunteer Together

Engage in community service or charitable activities that resonate with your shared values. If possible, participate in a mission trip or a project like building a house for a homeless family. Put your beliefs into practice. 

3. Create Rituals

Your faith rituals can be those that are meaningful to you and your partner. Choose what celebrates your faith and helps you to connect spiritually. It could be lighting candles, listening to worship music, or creating a gratitude practice.   

Conclusion

Cultivating your spiritual intimacy can transform your relationship. The deeper connection that will form will withstand the tests of time. As you share beliefs, engage in meaningful conversations, and participate in spiritual practices, you will build a strong foundation rooted in faith that is unshakeable. Embracing your shared spirituality will to a more profound sense of purpose, love, and harmony in your life and in your relationship. 

Love Recon Coaching can help you develop all of the dimensions of intimacy. Call us today!

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• Can spiritual intimacy exist even if partners don’t have the same religious beliefs?

  Yes, spiritual intimacy can exist even if partners don’t have the same beliefs. Since spiritual beliefs are deeply personal and intimate by nature, having conversations about them will open windows into each other’s souls. And by learning about each other’s beliefs and practices, a couple can grow in appreciation and understanding of their partner’s spiritual life.

• How can I start enjoying spiritual intimacy in my relationship?

  Like almost every area of a couple’s shared life, understanding and growth begins with a respectful, non-judgmental, and transparent conversation. Discuss your shared beliefs and practices and how they have helped and blessed you. Begin to engage in spiritual practices that you can do together such as worship, prayer and meditation and reading spiritual literature.

• Is spiritual intimacy the same as physical intimacy?

  Physical intimacy between a committed couple can be a spiritual and emotionally intimate experience as God designed it to be. Spiritual intimacy, however, has its focus on the emotional and spiritual connection between partners.

• How often should couples engage in spiritual practices together?

  There is no prescribed frequency for engaging in spiritual practices together. Daily or weekly or somewhere in between seems to be the norm for couples who are intentional in building their spiritual intimacy. Studies have shown that those who incorporate prayer into their everyday lives have been reported to be more resilient couples.

• Can spiritual intimacy help during challenging times in a marriage?

  Spiritual intimacy can give a couple direction, comfort, strength and peace when going through tough times. Faith in God can empower the couple to love each other even when neither are being loveable! Growing spiritually can help couples to create a stronger, more resilient marriage that thrives on faith, understanding, and love.