June 5, 2020

Love Recon 10-Things-to-Say-main-image

Looking for more love and passion with your mate? Try these 10 suggestions to make it happen.

The things that you say to your mate matter.  Your words will build them up or tear them down, make them feel loved or rejected, cut them or heal them. It has been said that the power of life and death is in the tongue.  Below are some things that you can say to your mate which, if said sincerely from the heart, will build them up, help them feel loved, and heal the wounds of their hearts.

  1. I love you.

This may seem obvious, but it is one declaration that never grows old if it is communicated from the heart.  In the morning when you get up, as you’re going out the door, when you talk or text during the day, when you go to bed at night and in all the in-between times, these three words breathe life into your relationship.

  1. There is no one that I’d rather do life with than you!

This phrase lets your mate know that you are so glad that you chose them.  It also indicates that you view them as a teammate and partner in life.  It 10 Things to Say supporting imageshows that you are looking forward to what life holds as long as you can face it with them.

  1. Thank you for…

Gratitude is one of the characteristics of a satisfying relationship. Being grateful for your mate and what they bring to your life will draw you closer together.  It is focusing on the positive about them.  Express gratitude for all the little things that they do.  It will show them that you notice.  It will also prevent you from comparing your mate to others because it keeps your focus in the right place.

  1. I’m more attracted to you now than ever.

Male or female, we all want to know that we are attractive or sexy!  As we age and our bodies change, it can be challenging to feel good about ourselves. It is gratifying to hear and know that your mate still finds you appealing and desirable. The self-confidence that comes from understanding that your mate wants you makes you even sexier.

  1. Will you forgive me?

Forgiveness is essential to the survival of any relationship.  Small hurts that are allowed to fester will kill love and create bitterness that will permeate every area of life.  It is so vital that we apologize when we are wrong and acknowledge our offense.  “I’m so sorry that I … I was selfish, etc.  Will you forgive me?”  You must ask your mate the question, “Will you forgive me?”  It will give them the opportunity to make the decision to forgive you and release any toxic feelings and emotions that they might be harboring.  It is also essential that you sincerely communicate that you hope never to do it again. 

  1. What are your thoughts about…?

Nothing shows more respect for your partner than asking for and valuing their opinion.  And let’s face it, we all have blind spots and need another’s opinion and perception of a situation or opportunity.  If we ask for our mate’s view, we will be able to see things in a new or different light.  As the saying goes, “Two heads are better than one.”

Whether or not we ultimately choose the course that they might suggest, we have honored and respected them by inviting them to speak into the matter.

  1. I need your help.

In a loving and healthy relationship, both partners desire to help each other and even sacrifice for their mate.  If you do everything yourself and never ask for help, your mate could feel unneeded and also unwanted. Give up thinking that you have to do everything yourself. Given the opportunity to help, your mate may feel included in what you are doing and valuable to you as a partner.  In addition, your appreciation of their help builds a stronger connection to you and can even raise their self-esteem.

  1. You’re so good at…

Notice the things that your mate does well.  Is it home design and decoration?  Gardening?  Diffusing tense situations?  Parenting the children? Hosting an event? Encouraging and motivating others.  Make sure to express to them what you see them doing well.  They may try to blow it off but insist that they receive the compliment.  And for a bonus, add a statement about how it makes you feel that they are so good at it.  Example: “You handle tense situations well and can turn them around and make everyone feel at ease. It makes me feel proud that you are my partner.”

  1. You’re my soulmate and forever love.

Your mate likes to hear that you are content and satisfied with your choice of them as a mate.  You are not still in the “dating” mode in which you are just checking them out until a better option comes along.  You see this relationship as a “forever” kind of love, and you don’t feel trapped by them.  On the contrary, you feel fortunate that you have found the one you want to wake up to each morning for the rest of your lives.

  1. I’d marry/choose you all over again.

Like #7 above, this statement lets your mate know that you are satisfied and fulfilled with them. It helps them know that you are not looking around, comparing them to others, and evaluating whether you got a “good catch.”  The more you can communicate this to your partner, the more secure and loved they will feel.

Of course, none of these statements mean anything if they are disingenuous and not heartfelt. Neither should they be used in an attempt to manipulate your mate.  If you find that you cannot honestly say these things, you may need to seek marriage counseling through a marriage seminar, retreat, or marriage coaching.  To be able to verbally love your mate is one of the best gifts you can give them, yourself, and your relationship!

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