The Emotional Love Account – Cha-Ching!

The Emotional Love Account – Cha-Ching!

Emotional connection means feeling in touch with someone who cares about you. Emotional disconnection is when relationships are hi-jacked and sidetracked. ~ Todd Hicks, LoveRecon

In LoveRecon, you participated in a drill in which you listed 3 small things that your mate could do that would make “deposits” into your “emotional love account”. Just like a real bank account, a zero balance is trouble, and a negative balance is the real danger zone. How are you doing on fulfilling those three things? Have you checked in lately to see if there are other things that you could do?

An Emotional Love Account grows when partners make more deposits than withdrawals. The difference between happy couples and unhappy couples is how they manage their Emotional Love Account. When it is in the red, partners tend to question each other’s intentions and feel disconnected, or even lonely.  When it is in the black, partners tend to give each other the benefit of the doubt during conflict. They keep their relationship in the positive perspective.

So, how do you measure the balance of your Emotional Love Account? In general, it takes five positive deposits to equal one withdrawal! In other words, one insensitive act or word needs at least five positive, loving acts or words to equal it. And that is for a small withdrawal. A larger withdrawal, i.e. a more hurtful act or word may require even more deposits to bring your love account back into the black.

Dyad

Be kind when you speak. Refrain from “you” statements. When you’re listening, don’t be defensive. Listen to learn so that you can make more deposits in your mate’s Emotional Love Account.

Withdrawals

A: What is one withdrawal that I have made from your Emotional Love Account recently?

B: One withdrawal that you have made recently is… and it made me feel…

A: What I heard you say… Did I get it?

B: “You got it!” or give a gentle correction

Now reverse roles so that each of you has a turn. Repeat as many times as needed for both of you.

B: What is one withdrawal that I have made from your Emotional Love Account recently?

A: One withdrawal that you have made recently is… and it made me feel…

B: What I heard you say… Did I get it?

A: “You got it!” or give a gentle correction

Deposits

A: What is one thing that I can do that would make a deposit in your Emotional Love Account?

B: What you can do to make a deposit is… and that would make me feel…

A: What I heard you say… Did I get it?

B: “You got it!” or give a gentle correction

Again, reverse roles so that each of you has a turn. If you so desire and time allows, go ahead and share up to 3 deposits each that your mate can make.

B: What is one thing that I can do that would make a deposit in your Emotional Love Account?

A: What you can do to make a deposit is… and that would make me feel…

B: What I heard you say… Did I get it?

A: “You got it!” or give a gentle correction

End with a hug, a kiss and a prayer or wish for your mate!

TODAY’S CHALLENGE: Find a song that reminds you of your mate. Play it for them and tell them why it makes you think of them. “Extra points” if you lip sync it or sing it to them karaoke style.

If today’s challenge isn’t feasible, choose from LoveRecon’s 50 Creative Ways to Love Your Mate. (See Appendix)

Galatians 6:9

• How can we improve communication in our relationship?

  Improving communication starts with active listening. Make sure to give your partner your full attention when they’re speaking. Avoid interrupting and show empathy towards their feelings. Regularly check in with each other about your needs and feelings, and set aside time for meaningful conversations without distractions.

• What should we do if we have different interests?

  It’s natural for couples to have different interests. Embrace your individuality while finding common activities you both enjoy. Respect and support each other’s hobbies and passions. You can also try introducing each other to your interests and see if there are new things you might both enjoy together.

• How can we keep the romance alive after many years together?

  Keeping the romance alive requires effort from both partners. Plan regular date nights, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and maintain physical affection. Communication is key—express your love and appreciation for each other frequently. Also, make time for new experiences and adventures together to keep the relationship exciting.

• What is the best way to handle disagreements and conflicts?

  Handling disagreements requires calm and respectful communication. Focus on the issue at hand without resorting to personal attacks. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming your partner. Find a compromise or solution that works for both of you, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist if needed.

• How can we build trust in our relationship?

  Building trust takes time and consistency. Be honest and transparent with each other, and follow through on your commitments. Show reliability and dependability in both big and small matters. Address any breaches of trust openly and work together to rebuild it. Trust is reinforced through consistent actions and open communication.