Be generous with kindness and encouragement.
Everyone needs it- especially your mate! ~ Cliff Poe, LoveRecon
To help you to look forward to your daily dyad with your mate, beginning your dialogue with nurturing talk is a good tool to use. It will set a positive tone and help you to focus on the good in your mate and in your marriage. Most couples are really good at keeping a list of the negatives about each other, but are not as good about appreciating the positive attributes of their mate.
Nurturing Talk is when you tell your mate something that you admire or appreciate about them and how it makes you feel. You can choose either one or the other. You don’t have to do both of them each day. Admire OR appreciate. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Read the descriptions and examples below:
- To admire them is to pick out a character quality of theirs that you believe is a real strength and to share how it makes you feel. Example: “I admire your perseverance through difficult situations. You don’t check out. That makes me feel secure and that we’re a team.”
- To appreciate them is to thank them for something that they have done and share how it makes you feel. Example: “Thank you for laying out my vitamins and making my protein drink each morning. That makes me feel loved and thought about.”
After your spouse admires or appreciates you, it is important that you say, “thank you,” or “you’re welcome,” whichever the case may be. Receive their compliment or their thanks. Don’t downplay it or joke it away. To do so is to diminish their opinion and feelings.
Tell your spouse what you love or appreciate about them. Small things are not small things in a relationship, so don’t minimize the importance of something just because it doesn’t seem like a big deal. Decide which of you will go first.
A: One of the things I admire about you is… (a character trait) and it makes me feel…
A: I want to thank you for…(something they do/did for you) because it makes me feel…
B: “Thank you” (if they admired you)
“You’re welcome!” (If they thanked you)
B: One of the things I admire about you is… (a character trait) and it makes me feel…
B: I want to thank you for…(something they do/did for you) because it makes me feel…
A: “Thank you” (if they admired you)
“You’re welcome!” (If they thanked you) Click here for the Suggested Scripture
End with a hug, a kiss and a wish or prayer for your mate!