Accentuate the Positive in your Communication Together

Nurturing Talk

Be generous with kindness and encouragement.
Everyone needs it- especially your mate! ~ Cliff Poe, LoveRecon

To help you to look forward to your daily dyad with your mate, beginning your dialogue with nurturing talk is a good tool to use. It will set a positive tone and help you to focus on the good in your mate and in your marriage. Most couples are really good at keeping a list of the negatives about each other, but are not as good about appreciating the positive attributes of their mate.

Nurturing Talk is when you tell your mate something that you admire or appreciate about them and how it makes you feel. You can choose either one or the other. You don’t have to do both of them each day. Admire OR appreciate. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Read the descriptions and examples below:

• To admire them is to pick out a character quality of theirs that you believe is a real strength and to share how it makes you feel. Example: “I admire your perseverance through difficult situations. You don’t check out. That makes me feel secure and that we’re a team.”
• To appreciate them is to thank them for something that they have done and share how it makes you feel. Example: “Thank you for laying out my vitamins and making my protein drink each morning. That makes me feel loved and thought about.”

After your spouse admires or appreciates you, it is important that you say, “thank you,” or “you’re welcome,” whichever the case may be. Receive their compliment or their thanks. Don’t downplay it or joke it away. To do so is to diminish their opinion and feelings.

Dyad

Tell your spouse what you love or appreciate about them. Small things are not small things in a relationship, so don’t minimize the importance of something just because it doesn’t seem like a big deal. Decide which of you will go first.

A: One of the things I admire about you is… (a character trait) and it makes me feel…

OR

A: I want to thank you for…(something they do/did for you) because it makes me feel…

B: “Thank you” (if they admired you)

OR

“You’re welcome!” (If they thanked you)

B: One of the things I admire about you is… (a character trait) and it makes me feel…

B: I want to thank you for…(something they do/did for you) because it makes me feel…

A: “Thank you” (if they admired you)

OR

“You’re welcome!” (If they thanked you) Click here for the Suggested Scripture

End with a hug, a kiss and a wish or prayer for your mate!

Find out more about our LoveRecon Marriage Help Events

• How can we improve communication in our relationship?

  Improving communication starts with active listening. Make sure to give your partner your full attention when they’re speaking. Avoid interrupting and show empathy towards their feelings. Regularly check in with each other about your needs and feelings, and set aside time for meaningful conversations without distractions.

• What should we do if we have different interests?

  It’s natural for couples to have different interests. Embrace your individuality while finding common activities you both enjoy. Respect and support each other’s hobbies and passions. You can also try introducing each other to your interests and see if there are new things you might both enjoy together.

• How can we keep the romance alive after many years together?

  Keeping the romance alive requires effort from both partners. Plan regular date nights, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and maintain physical affection. Communication is key—express your love and appreciation for each other frequently. Also, make time for new experiences and adventures together to keep the relationship exciting.

• What is the best way to handle disagreements and conflicts?

  Handling disagreements requires calm and respectful communication. Focus on the issue at hand without resorting to personal attacks. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming your partner. Find a compromise or solution that works for both of you, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist if needed.

• How can we build trust in our relationship?

  Building trust takes time and consistency. Be honest and transparent with each other, and follow through on your commitments. Show reliability and dependability in both big and small matters. Address any breaches of trust openly and work together to rebuild it. Trust is reinforced through consistent actions and open communication.