Echoes in My Head: Being Aware of Self-Talk

Replacing Negative Thoughts
Focusing on the negative in life creates a pessimistic attitude. Seeking the positive creates hope and optimism. ~ David Bishop, Love Recon

Have you ever been in a deep canyon where you could yell a message and the echoes would bounce off the walls of the canyon? Negative words and thoughts are like that.

Once a negative word is spoken, it is released to the universe and it will continue to echo throughout the canyon walls of your mind without control. You cannot quiet the volume, you cannot change the message, and you are now at the mercy of the echo.

Maybe you were told that you were stupid as a child, and later in life you caught yourself thinking, “It really doesn’t matter. I’m stupid anyway. No one takes me seriously.”

We have listened to these lies and listened to them as they echoed in our minds’ canyons and then we have begun to believe the lies. And because we have bought into or agreed with the lies, then we have become the person that they say we are. The negative echoes, the lies, now control our present and future.

How do we rid ourselves of such negative and harmful echoes? Just as if you were standing on the river in the canyon, you create a new echo. Once the new word is spoken it will drown out the fading echoes of the old message. Say the new positive message, the truth, long enough, and you will begin to believe it and the transformation will begin.

Positive affirmations are statements that are spoken and often repeated to encourage and uplift the person speaking them. In reality, a positive affirmation is actually the language of the brain.

3 Characteristics of Positive Affirmations:

• Positive affirmations are always present tense (“I am…” not “I will be…”)
• Positive affirmations only include positive words (strong, beautiful, capable, worthy, etc.)
• Positive affirmations are spoken statements of truth and fact (the opposite of the lie)

Finish the statements below:

• One negative echo or lie that plays in my head is…
• It has affected me and our relationship by…
• My positive affirmation (truth) is… (refer to the 3 Characteristics of Positive Affirmations)

TODAY’S CHALLENGE: Start the 10-second kiss rule. Either of you can call for a 10 second kiss, with no expectation of having sex. You won’t believe how long 10 seconds is… or how many endorphins are released in just 10 seconds!

Suggested Scripture: Philippians 4:8-9

• How can we improve communication in our relationship?

  Improving communication starts with active listening. Make sure to give your partner your full attention when they’re speaking. Avoid interrupting and show empathy towards their feelings. Regularly check in with each other about your needs and feelings, and set aside time for meaningful conversations without distractions.

• What should we do if we have different interests?

  It’s natural for couples to have different interests. Embrace your individuality while finding common activities you both enjoy. Respect and support each other’s hobbies and passions. You can also try introducing each other to your interests and see if there are new things you might both enjoy together.

• How can we keep the romance alive after many years together?

  Keeping the romance alive requires effort from both partners. Plan regular date nights, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and maintain physical affection. Communication is key—express your love and appreciation for each other frequently. Also, make time for new experiences and adventures together to keep the relationship exciting.

• What is the best way to handle disagreements and conflicts?

  Handling disagreements requires calm and respectful communication. Focus on the issue at hand without resorting to personal attacks. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming your partner. Find a compromise or solution that works for both of you, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist if needed.

• How can we build trust in our relationship?

  Building trust takes time and consistency. Be honest and transparent with each other, and follow through on your commitments. Show reliability and dependability in both big and small matters. Address any breaches of trust openly and work together to rebuild it. Trust is reinforced through consistent actions and open communication.