How We Interact as a Couple (pt. 2 of 2)

Who you are will determine how you interact as a couple.
Are you the Giver-Equalizer-Taker …part 2

Last time we talked about how everyone has a default or modality in the way they interact in relationships. Now, we’ll finish up the conversation.

#3 Modality

-You are careful to protect your own interests.

-You would say that your spouse “loves more” in your marriage.

-You ensure that you get the credit for your effort and negotiate to win.

If these are most true of you, then you might be a

Taker.  

(sit in a dyad)

Think of a time when your spouse gave more than you in the relationship. Take turns sharing about it and how it made you feel.

A: “I feel that you gave more to me and our relationship when… and it made me feel…”

B: “I feel that you gave more to me and our relationship when… and it made me feel…”

Now share which modality you believe is your default way to interact with your spouse and tell them why.

B: “I think that I am more of a… (Giver, Equalizer or Taker) because…”

A: “I think that I am more of a… (Giver, Equalizer or Taker) because…”

To conclude, share with your spouse if there are any adjustments that you would like to make to be more balanced in the way that you interact with each other. Share what you will do and then ask your spouse if they have any suggestions to help you. Spouse, be appreciative and kind and don’t overload them. Make one or two suggestions only!

B: “To be more balanced, I will make the effort to… Do you have any other suggestions to help me be more in balance?”

A: “Thank you for making the effort to… I think that’s great! Here’s something else that you might consider…”

A: “To be more balanced, I will make the effort to… Do you have any other suggestions to help me be more in balance?”

B: “Thank you for making the effort to… I think that’s great! Here’s something else that you might consider…

End with a hug, a kiss and a wish or prayer for your mate!

CHALLENGE: Do an intentional act of kindness together, for someone else – family, friend or maybe a total stranger. Give your time and energy to someone else for which you expect nothing in return except the joy of giving.

Part 2 of 2

check out this suggested scripture: Romans 12:9-10

Find our how we help couples Refresh, Refocus and Restore their marriage in our one of a kind marriage workshop.

• How can we improve communication in our relationship?

  Improving communication starts with active listening. Make sure to give your partner your full attention when they’re speaking. Avoid interrupting and show empathy towards their feelings. Regularly check in with each other about your needs and feelings, and set aside time for meaningful conversations without distractions.

• What should we do if we have different interests?

  It’s natural for couples to have different interests. Embrace your individuality while finding common activities you both enjoy. Respect and support each other’s hobbies and passions. You can also try introducing each other to your interests and see if there are new things you might both enjoy together.

• How can we keep the romance alive after many years together?

  Keeping the romance alive requires effort from both partners. Plan regular date nights, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and maintain physical affection. Communication is key—express your love and appreciation for each other frequently. Also, make time for new experiences and adventures together to keep the relationship exciting.

• What is the best way to handle disagreements and conflicts?

  Handling disagreements requires calm and respectful communication. Focus on the issue at hand without resorting to personal attacks. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming your partner. Find a compromise or solution that works for both of you, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist if needed.

• How can we build trust in our relationship?

  Building trust takes time and consistency. Be honest and transparent with each other, and follow through on your commitments. Show reliability and dependability in both big and small matters. Address any breaches of trust openly and work together to rebuild it. Trust is reinforced through consistent actions and open communication.