The Cure-For Us and Our Relationship
Emotional wounds cause us to build walls of protection. Lowering these walls is when the healing begins. ~ David Bishop, LoveRecon
We’ve all been hurt in one way or another in our lives. Some of you have been severely hurt throughout your life. When we get hurt or traumatized, we have a built-in response to protect ourselves.
Most of us build walls around our hearts and emotions to protect us from ever being hurt again. We make inner survival promises which are promises we make to ourselves in moments of pain, vowing we will never allow anyone to hurt us again. These promises cause us to build walls. The walls we build usually work for us at the time in our lives when we are being hurt. However, when you allow the wall to remain up later in life, that wall begins to hurt you. Walls prevent you from allowing people in and also prevent you from allowing people, even your spouse, to love you. Many times, these walls we build to protect ourselves also prevent us from being able to love ourselves.
In the Love Recon, you were asked the question, “What “cure” do you need to put your life back on track and how would it change your life?”
Read aloud these questions and consider each one:
What is missing in your life?
What is hurt or broken in your life?
What is missing in your relationship?
What will it take to lower the walls around your heart?
What will bring you peace and joy?
What do you need to see your value and worth?
What will make you feel whole and complete?
What will it take for you to find yourself?
What do you need to be able to truly love yourself?
What is preventing you from living a fulfilled life?
What is preventing you from fully loving and being loved?
Find out about how Love Recon can help your marriage today!
- How can we improve communication in our relationship?
Improving communication starts with active listening. Make sure to give your partner your full attention when they’re speaking. Avoid interrupting and show empathy towards their feelings. Regularly check in with each other about your needs and feelings, and set aside time for meaningful conversations without distractions.
- What should we do if we have different interests?
It’s natural for couples to have different interests. Embrace your individuality while finding common activities you both enjoy. Respect and support each other’s hobbies and passions. You can also try introducing each other to your interests and see if there are new things you might both enjoy together.
- How can we keep the romance alive after many years together?
Keeping the romance alive requires effort from both partners. Plan regular date nights, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and maintain physical affection. Communication is key—express your love and appreciation for each other frequently. Also, make time for new experiences and adventures together to keep the relationship exciting.
- What is the best way to handle disagreements and conflicts?
Handling disagreements requires calm and respectful communication. Focus on the issue at hand without resorting to personal attacks. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming your partner. Find a compromise or solution that works for both of you, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist if needed.
- How can we build trust in our relationship?
Building trust takes time and consistency. Be honest and transparent with each other, and follow through on your commitments. Show reliability and dependability in both big and small matters. Address any breaches of trust openly and work together to rebuild it. Trust is reinforced through consistent actions and open communication.