Rock 1 – Anger
Resentment is like rust in a relationship. It may be deeply hidden in the crevices but it slowly eats its way through your framework.
~ Angie Craft, LoveRecon
In the visualization drill, “The Hike,” you picked up four rocks as you hiked up a mountain. These rocks represented the emotions, anger, fear, sadness and negative guilt/shame, the “heavier” emotions. While there are times for the healthy expression of all of these emotions, often we can become stuck in them so that they become negative and destructive to our lives and relationships.
Today, focus on the rock named Anger. Anger is the result of an OFFENSE. When you become angry, the questions to ask yourself is, “Who and what has offended me?” It could be the common experience of being cut off by a rude driver in traffic. It might be a coworker that has gossiped about you. It is possible that you might feel offended by God, if you believe in God, because it seemed that He was absent when you needed Him most. Your prayers may not have been answered in the time or way that you felt they needed to be answered.
An offense can be a real offense or it can be a perceived offense. Someone may fail to say “hello” to you when you enter a gathering. You may have even waved or said hello to them. It could be that they were distracted or deep in thought and didn’t hear or see you and so they didn’t greet you. You feel hurt – offended – by the perceived snub and anger rises in you. “What?! Are they too self-important to acknowledge my presence?”, you may think. It may only be a perceived offense, but it causes the same hurt or anger that a real offense would. Therefore, perceived offenses should be dealt with in the same way that you would deal with a real offense.
Offenses add up over time – small ones, medium ones and larger ones – and create bitterness, explosive anger, emotional walls, depression, physical illness… and on the list goes! The key to overcoming and healing from anger is to recognize the anger, determine what caused it and FORGIVE! This is where the LoveRecon event can truly help you thrive in your relationship. Forgive others, forgive yourself and forgive God for offenses, real or perceived. Forgiveness keeps your heart tender and loving. The result of forgiveness is PEACE.
TODAY’S CHALLENGE: Take a walk together. Hold hands. Have fun or engage in deep conversation. It’s your choice!