Setting aside the natural reproduction facts, there’s no doubt that sex plays a key role in any developed relationship. In fact, sex seems so easy, natural and intimate when we first fall in love – unfortunately, many of us still suffer damage from our sex lives.
A healthy physical relationship is all about sexual expression, intimacy, pleasure, intercourse and what you or your partner would prefer in private. In fact, satisfying intercourse keeps both partners physically, mentally, and socially fit in their daily lives.
Before reading this post, you probably came across several articles explaining why a woman must fulfill her partner’s wishes. Yes, only a few have talked about what women need for a better sex life. And if you’re struggling reaching full potential, you’ve come to the right place.
Even psychologists agree that they notice most couples complaining about bad communication in their marriage counselling or relationship counselling sessions also complain about a lacking or even non-existent sex life. We have a solution.
Follow this post and learn more how listening to her needs can lead to a better sex life and how to improve communication in relationships.
Listening to Her Needs
Your brother, your best friend, your colleague, your roommate – you probably heard the awesome adventures of their perfect sex life, yet you’re struggling in your sex life. That is quite normal among 3 out of every 5 couples. But what are you missing?
“How to improve communication in relationships?” is one of the most asked questions among new couples. In most cases, what a man misses is her likes, dislikes and other preferences in and out of bed. If she does her best to make you feel the luckiest man alive, then why can’t you take the time to listen to her needs. Believe it or not, the majority of men are selfish in bed. Those who aren’t selfish and give are probably enjoying the ideal sex life.
Moreover, the sex life of about 60% of partners starts to fade after they have children. Is it possible to re-ignite the spark you once had a few years ago? It definitely is, but there are certain things one must consider to fan that spark into a full flame.
No doubt two people with two separate sets of expectations, history, blueprints and preferences will have a challenge or two to reach the desired intimacy level. But listening to her needs can solve the majority of the problems. When you’re aware of her likes and dislikes, you’ll definitely conquer those challenges and have her back as in your early marriage days.
We’ve come up with these 4 tips to fulfill her needs and create a better sex life.
1. Avoid Rushed Sex Talks
Sex talk is one of the most important matters when you’re trying to understand each other. Therefore, it is recommended to take your time and, instead of bringing this up on the bed, invite her on a date and discuss your sex life. For instance, you might say, “I’d love to know what you feel would increase our intimacy and create a better sex life?”
2. Never Exaggerate the Talk – Take it Slow
You might want to discuss all of the bedroom talks in one go, but sex talks should be brief and to the point. Never exaggerate and bring up the same topic again and again. Talk about how you both feel about being more intimate on a regular basis. Discover what’s important to her in helping her relax and get more “in the mood.”
3. Suggestions Over Complaints
We understand that you’re struggling through your sex life, but it doesn’t mean you have the right to scold her and always complain about it – thinking it’s only up to her. It’s recommended that you put forth adequate suggestions for improvements that you both can enjoy.
First of all, give her some reassurance by appreciating the positive side of your sex life. And then ask if she is satisfied with your actions or if there’s something missing. While you’re into quickies, she might be longing for higher intensity. Instead of degrading her by saying “you can’t get me turned on”, suggesting “it’d be way too hot if you would enter the room in a sexy dress” can make things work. And if you’ve been complaining to her for quite some time, it is definitely not her fault that she fails to make you scream like she once did. Giving her some sexual confidence will go a long way to achieving the passion you’re wanting.
4. Never Forget the Basics
When was the last time you cuddled and kissed thoroughly on the bed, on the sofa, in the kitchen? It was a long time ago, right? Well, that’s a serious problem with most couples. After they get into a relationship or get married, they’ll forget the basics of sex after some time. Guess what? Women love when their partner hugs, cuddles and kisses them for hours before having intercourse. Kisses on her neck (random) with no immediate pressure to have sex will go a long way to creating the mood.
Remember the day when you longed for a single kiss from her? It was probably the most beautiful ever, right? Get back to the old you and let her know how much you love her by these small romantic gestures.
Communication Is The Key
Communication is the key to a great sex life that fulfills you both. As a communication exercise, each of you think about positions, acts and locations for sex that you have tried or would like to try. Make a list and beside each one indicate if this sexual expression is one that you would really enjoy (E), would not enjoy (N) or would enjoy, but only if you initiated it. (I). Share openly with each other. Be sure that you are both heard and respected and not judged.
Overall, communication is the key to a healthy relationship – both in terms of emotional and physical bonding. Say goodbye to stressed nights, unfulfilled sleep patterns and unnecessary fights. Talk to her about her needs for better sex life. In case of further questions, feel free to leave a reply or contact us.