What Is Premarital Counseling and How Can It Help?
In our society, there have never been higher divorce rates than those being witnessed today. As such, it is safe to say that marriage is under attack. The best thing you can do for yourself before getting married would be premarital counseling. Many people think about premarital counseling in the religious context as a prerequisite for couples getting married in the church. So, for couples who don’t end up following this tradition, they miss out on the important benefits of what is premarital counseling. One solid and very popular option is to attend a marriage retreat together. This is very unfortunate because studies show that couples who receive counseling before marriage, religious or not, have lower divorce rates than those that do not.
If you still don’t think that premarital counseling before the wedding is important, here are a few things to consider:
The face issues
Counseling before marriage gives couples the opportunity to discuss issues that most couples argue about; those things that often lead to divorce or separation. It is in marriage counseling that you get help in addressing hot issues before they arise and receive assistance in discovering what hidden issues there might be between you before you walk down the aisle. For example, some topics that are talked about in premarital counseling are:
What faith system you’d like to raise your future children under
What actions to take in case of interference from in-laws
What each person’s sexual ideals, needs and preferences are
Having such a plan of action on how you will handle serious issues will mitigate the likelihood of altercations in the future. Marriage counseling is not just about discussing the future but also addressing the main issues that are currently affecting your relationship. This is important because little problems can turn into major arguments if they are given a chance to grow. Premarital counseling will help you to work through the negative feelings before they become something big.
Getting counselor wisdom
It is nice to have someone who can talk to you about the issues you are likely to face in marriage because they have already gone through that. A great marriage counselor who’s been married can offer great suggest of wisdom from their experiences that can only come from being married and living with another person. In addition, talking to someone who may have felt some of the same feelings about family and relationships gives a head start in dealing with issues in marriage. It is also in relationship counseling that you get clues on what qualities make another person a good match for you. It will give you things to consider before you take the big step.
But that doesn’t mean that you have to follow the marriage counselor’s advice to the letter or call off the wedding because your partner does or thinks some things that you don’t agree with. However, it helps to have someone who can give you insight into problems that may arise and a plan for dealing with them.
What is premarital counseling benefit for marriages
There are those couples that people admire because they seem to have it altogether. They are seen spending time together, always happy and in love. They are what is referred to as “ideal couples.” But even the best relationships face difficulties. Regardless of the outward appearances, that couple has had disagreements and struggles at one time and may have even contemplated breaking up. More than likely, they have learned the tools taught in premarital counseling to work through such times and grow closer together instead of further apart. So, all couples, even those that look perfect on the outside, benefit from premarital counseling. As a matter of fact, most of the successful relationships have sought help from the outside parties or modeled their behavior toward one another from others who have been successful in relationships. There is no single marriage that is perfect and free of problems. The good news is that marriage counselors can help you work through your difficulties and learn to keep your love alive. You will learn how to compromise and work with the other person to ensure happiness and longevity.
Effective communication is a pillar of a successful marriage. When a couple stops talking to each other and caring for each other, then that marriage will fall apart. Premarital counseling helps you to learn how to become a good listener so that you can know the other person’s needs. It is easy to take someone for granted when you see them all the time and live under the same roof. Having an open line of communication and expressing love is what will build a relationship that will withstand the test of time. Counseling helps couples learn to express their feelings in a way that will not damage the relationship but that will promote understanding and peace.
The financial review in counseling
You’ve most likely had of couples who entered into marriage with debts because they financed a wedding that they could not afford. Relationship counseling helps you to create a budget and find out about your partner’s credit, outstanding loans and balances. One of the greatest enemies of even the healthiest relationships is finances. A marriage counselor helps you draw up a plan of action on how you will handle the financial areas of your relationship. It is also important to learn your partner’s spending habits and their attitudes about money before you marry them.
Making new discoveries about each other
Marriage counseling is a great space for you to discuss things that do not come up during normal conversations like past experiences, sex and expectations. You may think that you know your spouse very well but you may have no idea of emotional abuse or damage in their past. Relationship counseling is the environment for you to know if there are underlying issues that your partner is going through that he or she may need individual therapy for. Understanding your partner and their past will help you to help them in their growth and healing. There will also be holiday concerns to address. Remember to get some tips here about the holiday blues.
Divorce prevention in premarital counseling
It may sound cliché but premarital counseling does help to prevent divorce. Couples who don’t go for counseling before marriage are more likely to entertain the idea of a divorce while those who do go have the tools and the confidence that lead to a higher degree of happiness and satisfaction in marriage.
Most of the issues that cause divorce like finances are tackled during counseling so that your marriage has a better chance of survival.
It is impossible to understand why some people don’t like counseling before marriage yet it is their relationship that stands to benefit. If you are considering taking your relationship to the next level, then stop asking what is premarital counseling and go for it.