When Should You Go To Couples Therapy

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Cliff Poe
May 29, 2019 Recon Coaching Indivudual Coaching
Knowing When Should You Go To Couples Therapy Can Ultimately Save Your Relationship

Couples therapy is an important part of any given marriage or relationship. If you have never been to a marriage counseling session, you may be wondering when you should go to couples therapy or even how to prepare yourselves for your first experience of any type of relationship counseling.  Depending on where you are in your relationship and how solid your foundation is will mean quite a bit. Just know that if your looking for a more toned down, welcoming alternative and need a getaway, then maybe a high quality marriage retreat is what you need. Learn more right here.

When And Why Go To Couples Therapy?

In a relationship, it is common for one spouse to be unhappy or even feel like their needs for intimacy are not met.  The other spouse might feel unloved, burdened with responsibilities, abused or even like he/she landed with the wrong partner. It is common to feel this way especially if the two of you never attended premarital counseling where you could have evaluated your expectations, goals and the future for your relationship.

Instead of exposing the bitter part about your relationship to your friends or family and putting them in the position of taking sides, there’s something you can do that can renew and strengthen your marriage or relationship without burdening or stressing others.

The decision for the two of you to see a professional counselor can be the next big thing for your relationship. First, talk about your feelings and what you’re experiencing with your partner. Be careful to voice your concerns calmly and seek to know your spouse’s opinion and perspective on getting help. When you open up with each other, it becomes easier to see the parts of your marriage relationship that needs to be addressed.

Before You Start Couples Therapy: What to Do

If you want to get the most out of your relationship counseling, there’s work for you to do. The two of you should have clear goals and objectives as to why you want to see a marriage therapist and what you want to achieve.

In some cases, one of the spouses might not be willing to sit in a small room with a stranger to discuss very intimate issues. Some people fear seeing a marriage counselor and every effort to convince them of the importance of relationship counseling might not be successful.

Another important component is absolute honesty. Covering issues or trying to be better than your partner won’t help. If it is hard for you to communicate and talk about everything with your spouse, you may first seek counseling for yourself until you and your spouse are both willing to seek help together. 

This is where many couples miss the mark. Some go for couples’ therapy with the intention of trying to prove themselves right or win the game, but by doing this,  they may end up losing the relationship altogether.

Should You Go To Couples therapy?

Knowing When Should You Go To Couples Therapy Can Be Huge

Regardless of the severity of your relationship distress, your marriage can make it beyond marriage counseling. Relationship issues are wide-ranging and talking about them without the help of an experienced marriage therapist might be a minefield for you.

As long as the two of you are ready for marriage counseling and you find the right professional counselor to guide you, couples’ therapy can save your marriage. And again, even when your spouse is not ready for it, you can start seeing a therapist alone.

Don’t wait till it’s too late! What many couples don’t know is that they need marriage counseling long before they think they need it. If you feel like the timing is good, maybe discuss a marriage retreat. Many couples have had great success by attending a reputable marriage retreat together. By finding a counselor whom you are comfortable to work with, and without bias, you can be sure you’re on the right track.

When you don’t know what to do about your marriage, it is very important to talk about it with an objective counselor or therapist.  Successful therapy is all about moving forward with your life in a healthy and productive way.

How do I start couples therapy?

Deep down in your heart you know that couples therapy can offer help to your troubled relationship, but how do you get started? It’s not complicated. In reality, it is easier than you can imagine. Do you think you need to make changes to your marriage? If you feel like something needs to be done to repair or strengthen your marriage and you know the two of you can never land on a healthy conclusion, it’s time to start couples therapy.

When to start couples therapy?

Start Today! Procrastination is the silent but deadly enemy that is eats up relationships that seemed so promising. If you love your spouse  yet after every confrontation or conflict he/she is still hesitant to start couples therapy, why don’t you start alone? Your spouse may miss out on the initial appointments, but then join you later when he/she feels comfortable to begin couples therapy. This often happens when a spouse begins to see the positive results in their partner.  So, if you stay committed to your couples therapy and fulfill your role, winning your spouse could be the simplest thing ever.  

Is This Happening In Your Marriage?

If you start experiencing communication issues, financial disagreements, sexual dissatisfaction, childcare conflicts and lowered intimacy, you can know that these are red flags that things are not right with your relationship. Are you asking yourself, should you go to couples therapy?

Don’t ignore those “small” issues. Most marital issues start small and turn into gigantic issues that are hard to resolve. Now, this is where couples therapy comes in handy. Your marriage counselor will give you working tools and techniques to rebuild, strengthen and nourish your life and marriage.

Do You Feel Like You Can’t Hold It Anymore?

At times, spouses reach a point where they throw their hands in the air and give up on everything that involves the two of them being together. A divorce is one of the ugliest scenarios in life and its impact is far reaching. Couples, children, family members and friends all suffer the repercussions.

Don’t choose divorce as your first or only option. Before you call it quits, you may need to start couples therapy. The seemingly gigantic and unresolvable issues between the two of you can be resolved in such a way that may even strengthen your relationship.

Just give it a try. Start couples therapy today and very soon your spouse could be thanking you for doing this with them. The moment that you decide when to start couples therapy to handle and resolve conflict with effective and loving communication, you will know that your relationship can be saved and that it can be what you have always hoped it could be!

  • How can we improve communication in our relationship?

    Improving communication starts with active listening. Make sure to give your partner your full attention when they’re speaking. Avoid interrupting and show empathy towards their feelings. Regularly check in with each other about your needs and feelings, and set aside time for meaningful conversations without distractions.

  • What should we do if we have different interests?

    It’s natural for couples to have different interests. Embrace your individuality while finding common activities you both enjoy. Respect and support each other’s hobbies and passions. You can also try introducing each other to your interests and see if there are new things you might both enjoy together.

  • How can we keep the romance alive after many years together?

    Keeping the romance alive requires effort from both partners. Plan regular date nights, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and maintain physical affection. Communication is key—express your love and appreciation for each other frequently. Also, make time for new experiences and adventures together to keep the relationship exciting.

  • What is the best way to handle disagreements and conflicts?

    Handling disagreements requires calm and respectful communication. Focus on the issue at hand without resorting to personal attacks. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming your partner. Find a compromise or solution that works for both of you, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist if needed.

  • How can we build trust in our relationship?

    Building trust takes time and consistency. Be honest and transparent with each other, and follow through on your commitments. Show reliability and dependability in both big and small matters. Address any breaches of trust openly and work together to rebuild it. Trust is reinforced through consistent actions and open communication.