How will your emotional baggage impact your life journey?
All baggage becomes heavy if carried long enough. Friends help friends carry the load when it becomes too much. ~ Todd Hicks, LoveRecon
Yes, everyone has emotional baggage. No doubt, as you experienced the LifeRecon and LoveRecon you heard the stories of other people – individuals and couples – and learned that you are not alone in dealing with emotional and relational baggage. Some of the stories on the surface may have seemed much “worse” than yours. Others didn’t seem that difficult or traumatic. Maybe you felt that your baggage and damage was minimal in comparison to that of others. Don’t be fooled! Whatever baggage and damage that you have, can and will affect your life and marriage and diminish your ability to love fully.
First of all, emotional baggage weighs you down. Even a 10 lb. bag carried in one hand will become a load too great to bear if you carry it long enough. If you remember, many in your group – perhaps even you – described yourself as feeling so much “lighter” at the end of LR than when you began. You felt refreshed and free and ready to go after your dreams. Have you taken back your old baggage or even picked up new baggage?
In addition:
- Emotional baggage stagnates you.
- Your creativity dries up and your motivation wanes.
- It is an energy drain, keeping you from pouring into anything or anyone else, including your spouse.
- You begin to live a selfish life.
- Shame sneaks back in, convincing you that you and your story have no merit.
Those are just some of the effects of unhealed emotional pain and damage. What are some of the indicators that I am carrying emotional baggage?
- Someone who has to blame others – employers, coworkers, employees, teachers, and others, but especially their spouse – still has baggage to dump and healing to do.
- No matter what the compulsive and addictive behavior might be, it is an indicator of unhealed pain. Shopping, golfing, working, sex, binge watching TV, etc. None are harmful in and of themselves, yet each can become an addiction as a way to numb pain and ignore baggage.
- If you are ignoring your own baggage and damage to continually help someone else with theirs, then you are being codependent and not really helping anyone.
- Stuffing emotions. To stuff your feelings and not deal with them is like taking termites from the living room to the basement. You don’t see them anymore, but they are destroying the house! Stuffing can lead to explosive anger or uncharacteristic behavior, anxiety and panic attacks and even depression.
Recon Coaching can help you dump your emotional baggage and work through unhealed emotional pain individually or as a couple. Schedule a complimentary consultation with a coach to learn how. Call 866-218-1716 or email reconcoaching@loverecon.org
End with a hug, a kiss and a wish or prayer for your mate!