Boundries In Your Relationship
Part 1- Boundaries Your Relationship Needs
It all begins with you!
Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is an essential life skill. If you don’t have boundaries, you won’t have a life! Nowhere is this more evident than in your intimate and romantic relationship. Have you heard people say things like, “I’ve lost me. I don’t know who I am anymore”? It is because they have failed to set boundaries, and as a result, they have lost themselves in the relationship. Instead of blaming, Boundaries help you to take responsibility for your actions. Further, for a relationship to be successful and healthy, you must be content and complete within yourself. Healthy couples complement each other, not complete each other!
All couples experience conflict in their lives. Boundaries can help to prevent many such problems, and they can also help you to work through conflicts as they arise. So what are the benefits of boundaries in your relationship?
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Freedom:
Having freedom in your relationship enables you to enjoy love and respect for each other. Some people have the idea that marriage gives you permission to restrict your spouse’s freedom or the fulfillment of their purpose. Restriction and control only breed contempt.
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Protection:
If your boundaries are firmly in place, you will know what to tolerate and what to accept. For instance, if your spouse abuses or hurts you emotionally, you can protect and stand up for yourself instead of allowing the behavior to continue. .
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Responsibility:
Taking responsibility clarifies your roles within the relationsihp. You don’t have to guess and wonder.Responsibility in marriage covers various things, such as behavior, choices, thoughts, attitude, values, and more. If something requires improvement, then you have the power to change it without putting the burden on your spouse.
So, what are the specific beneficial and healthy boundaries you need in a marriage? Below are seven boundaries that your relationship needs. These are first personal boundaries, so evaluate yourself, not your partner, on how well you are doing in these areas!
Seven Boundaries Your Relationship Needs
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Love:
Love is the very foundation of a committed relationship. If you have taken wedding vows, you most likely made the commitment to love
your spouse, no matter what. And when you said “I Do,” you committed to doing that faithfully for the rest of your life. Loving your spouse at all times, even during tough times and even when your spouse is not behaving in a loveable way, shows your unconditional love for them. However, it doesn’t mean you must tolerate your spouse’s bad behavior. Loving someone doesn’t exclude having boundaries with them.
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Honesty:
Honesty helps sustain mutual trust and respect in the relationship. Dishonesty can lead to various negative emotions such as insecurity, jealousy, mistrust, and disrespect.
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Faithfulness:
The boundary of faithfulness protects the marriage from external influences, reassuring the wife and husband of each other’s love and preserving their “oneness.”
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Self-control:
The key to a healthy relationship is to control your emotions and reactions to situations. The solution lies in self-control rather than managing your spouse. For example, if your spouse is rude, you can tell them, “If you continue to berate or belittle me, I’ll stop this discussion and leave .”This action helps you control the situation from getting worse.
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Forgiveness:
To forgive your spouse can be challenging, but it is necessary for the health of your marriage. Even in times of conflict, you must be humble enough to forgive and let go. But be firm about the consequences if the offense is repeated. And remember, forgiveness does not equal trust!
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Gratitude:
Be grateful for your spouse – their abilities, opportunities, etc. – and don’t envy them. Envy will prove to be disastrous to your relationship. When you are jealous of your spouse’s growth, social skills, appearance, or anything else, you feel insecure in the relationship. Insecurity can lead you to break all the healthy boundaries in marriage.
- More than mere communication about day-to-day things is required. You need to have daily conversations in which you connect on a heart level. That is why your Daily Dyad, taught in Love Recon and Recon Coaching, is so important!
These seven boundaries will help you to set a positive tone for your relationship and help you both to enjoy the benefits of freedom within the relationship, protection of yourselves and each other, and clearly defined roles and responsibilities within your relationship. See the blog, “Boundaries in Your Relationship, Part 2-Boundaries Never to Set in Your Relationship,” to discover the boundaries that can actually harm your relationship.
If you want to discuss how we can help you and your relationship, don’t hesitate to contact me at Cliff@LoveRecon.org or call 866-218-1716. You may also visit our website, www.LoveRecon.org, for testimonials and information.